First I want to apologize for not having written i a while. But inbetween school, temple trips and weddings I haven't had a lot of time the last couple of weeks. But I will try to write at least three times a week now.
Today I want to write about a song from Incubus. It's called Earth to Bella.
Incubus - Earth to Bella
http://open.spotify.com/track/4y4hP02p0od6OT8AGVvnvX
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AK5kk0MB_ZI
The sentence in this song that really grabbed my attention was: "And before you swim you've gotta be okay to sink".
I feel that this is a fact of life. In order to learn and grow you have to be aware that there is a risk that you might sink, and you have to be willing to take that risk.
It's the same for all new talents either you are learning to ride a bike, play football, play the guitar or any other talent you have to be ready to fail and to fall to be able to succeed.
Let's use the example of learning how to swim. It's preatty dangerous. How do you learn to swim? There is really only one way, you have to jump in the water, flap your arms and push your legs and hope for the best. And either you are a quick learner or you sink. And most people do sink the first time. And what have we accomplished then? Well now we know one way of not swimming.
Thomas Edison who discovered how to use electricity for lighting had some interesting qoutes:
He said, after having failed in making a working light bulb again, "We now know a thousand ways not to build a light bulb".
Later he said “I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work”.
He also said “I never failed once. It just happened to be a 2000-step process.”
About the human nature he commented that “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”
On another site I read said that failure is a detour, not a dead end street", just go back and try again.
Don't be afraid to sink, fall or fail, because after a 1000 times you will get it right. You are not a failure because you fail once, just continue until you succed. Thomas Alva Edison is remembered as our times greatest inventor because he failed 10 000 times and succeeded once. Perfection is achieved in the end, it's just a long and rough process, like Edison it might be a 2000-step process.
In order to learn in this life you must sink, and you will learn many ways not to swim, but in the end you will swim.
Another good song in this topic is Onerepublic with all fall down.
OneRepublic - All fall down
http://open.spotify.com/track/7E8KvZOi2YLQmpAW88DKZ7
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dm814YsrJ6A
- VforVegard
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
More than useless
There are times when people around us feel like crap; they feel down, insignificant and hurt. In this time your words of kindness can be a help in a tiresome and dark everyday life.
Relient K - More than useless
http://open.spotify.com/track/3tdqxPtYmf3LqsjQC8KS72
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLkMA3wn70Q
Like in this songs there are days when we can feel like there is no purpose to our existence, you might feel unwanted, feel like you have dissapointed someone or will fail someone, and you wonder if you are any good at all?
In these times think of the great value a word of kindness, of encouragement or of praise can have for this individual. A single word can make a person feel loved instead of feeling worthless. aHve you ever thought about what a great influence you can be for people if you encourage and express love? Have you ever thought about how great things people can achive if you believe in them?
Like Relient K lets us know, it is great to have a person that thinks you are "less than useless".
Your words are more than just words, they offer meaning and express feelings, You words can express feelings of gratitude, encouragement and love. To uplift, encourage, help and motivate. Sometimes your words don't do anything and some times you use them to discourage. Let's use our voice and our words to uplift and motivate those around us. The people around you are actually affected by what you say. They look up to you and belive your words to be true.
In the past few weeks I have been taught the meaning of having goo friends. Friends that encourage, that uplift and makes my days better. They endure my sadness, they tolerate my bad mood and they carry my sorrow. And at the same time they encourage me, they help me be active and they use of their time to make me feel better, to tell me that I'm good and that I will be ok.
So when people around you think that they cannot do something, you have to promise them that they will get through it and that they will do something right and that they are worth something. And don't just do it now, make it a part of you. Look around you and use your time and words to save people from themselves and assure them that they are more than useless. Like my friends helped me feel that I am more than useless.
- VforVegard
Relient K - More than useless
http://open.spotify.com/track/3tdqxPtYmf3LqsjQC8KS72
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLkMA3wn70Q
Like in this songs there are days when we can feel like there is no purpose to our existence, you might feel unwanted, feel like you have dissapointed someone or will fail someone, and you wonder if you are any good at all?
In these times think of the great value a word of kindness, of encouragement or of praise can have for this individual. A single word can make a person feel loved instead of feeling worthless. aHve you ever thought about what a great influence you can be for people if you encourage and express love? Have you ever thought about how great things people can achive if you believe in them?
Like Relient K lets us know, it is great to have a person that thinks you are "less than useless".
Your words are more than just words, they offer meaning and express feelings, You words can express feelings of gratitude, encouragement and love. To uplift, encourage, help and motivate. Sometimes your words don't do anything and some times you use them to discourage. Let's use our voice and our words to uplift and motivate those around us. The people around you are actually affected by what you say. They look up to you and belive your words to be true.
In the past few weeks I have been taught the meaning of having goo friends. Friends that encourage, that uplift and makes my days better. They endure my sadness, they tolerate my bad mood and they carry my sorrow. And at the same time they encourage me, they help me be active and they use of their time to make me feel better, to tell me that I'm good and that I will be ok.
So when people around you think that they cannot do something, you have to promise them that they will get through it and that they will do something right and that they are worth something. And don't just do it now, make it a part of you. Look around you and use your time and words to save people from themselves and assure them that they are more than useless. Like my friends helped me feel that I am more than useless.
- VforVegard
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Painted youself into a corner? Are you going to choose the easy or hard way out?
This weekend was something we call General Conference in the church, its a satelite transmitted meeting worldwide that lets all of all leaders talk to the entire world at once. You can read more about it at http://www.lds.org/ and http://www.mormon.org/. Today I want to give you some impressions I had from a talk from meeting. And these songs might give you an idea of what the talk was about. I will especially encourage you to listen to the first song and read the lyrics.
Relient K - When I go down - Lyrics (http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/relientk/whenigodown.html)
http://open.spotify.com/track/0UnmayheSTYN52BlZij5Qc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDskMF54vnw
Incubus - Dig
http://open.spotify.com/track/5Ewxkv3FsTwxJUDbOPAOwL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMsZ6wkZWhA&ob=av2e
Incubus - Love hurts
http://open.spotify.com/track/2kMdKdVh0t03HBuRcstafT
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxPcmi1U25g
Incubus - Diamonds and coal
http://open.spotify.com/track/43utXSeYkkua81p25Z2TFw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3m3kvTE7XKI
Snow Patrol - Run
http://open.spotify.com/track/19EmyfsVBD9YnLrxPPrDaH
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOBs8dU4Pb8&ob=av2n
But at this conference there was a talk that impressed me. In this talk the person gave an example of a man painting the floor of a room and he had the bright idea of starting from the door and then painted himself into a corner. A well know mistake for most of us. But his point was that when you are in this corner that you have painted youself into there is no window and no door and it seems like there is no way out of there, well there still is a way. But it will be a painfull and you will have to repair the damage. The solution is to walk over the floor, ruining some of the floor you have already painted and then fixing it again afterwards. It will hurt your pride, it will hurt the floor and it will demand some work.
How many of us would like to just paint ourselfs a window to escape out of when we have painted ourselfs into the corner? Why are we looking for the easy way out? Looking for the quick fix and running away from the difficult path of redemption. What happens if we do this?
In stead of going through the hard way, that might seem overwhelming we choose the easy way, because we think that we can escape our problems by not facing them. We think that if you don't have to face them we don't have to face the though and hard feelings that come with facing them. We thikn that if we run it won't catch up with us and we can continue living like nothing happened. But what are the consequenses of running?
We also let go of a wonderful opportunity of learning. We might leave someone hurt behind and do not heal their or our wounds. And you leave the past to haunt you. Like a bad consience that never will let you feel comfortable with yourself again.
What if you choose the hard way? What if you take the pain and face the hurt, problems and troubles that you have caused? Like diamonds and coal we need to be refined and it burs. But when you do this you say yes to the opportunity to learn from your mistakes. You are proving that you are not the proud one that declines help and refuses to see that, like everyone else I also have flaws. And that makes you kind, merciful and human. And you accept that each situation has something to teach you about life.
A part of the hard path is doing good what you did wrong. This will help you get closure. Either if it was towards yourself or towards others. You must forgive yourself or others, or apologize to yourself or others. And the ghost of your past will not haunt you. But leave you with a feeling of peace, calm and you will have become wiser.
So whenever you think about taking the easy way out, think about what the consequences of that choice is. Do you want hurt feelings and your conscious to haunt you. Or do you accept that every hard path is a way to learn and get closure in your life. Healing yourself and the people around you. Don't run, but face the opportunity in front of you. You problems do not go away simply if they are ignored. (Relient K)
- VforVegard
Relient K - When I go down - Lyrics (http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/relientk/whenigodown.html)
http://open.spotify.com/track/0UnmayheSTYN52BlZij5Qc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDskMF54vnw
Incubus - Dig
http://open.spotify.com/track/5Ewxkv3FsTwxJUDbOPAOwL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMsZ6wkZWhA&ob=av2e
Incubus - Love hurts
http://open.spotify.com/track/2kMdKdVh0t03HBuRcstafT
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxPcmi1U25g
Incubus - Diamonds and coal
http://open.spotify.com/track/43utXSeYkkua81p25Z2TFw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3m3kvTE7XKI
Snow Patrol - Run
http://open.spotify.com/track/19EmyfsVBD9YnLrxPPrDaH
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOBs8dU4Pb8&ob=av2n
But at this conference there was a talk that impressed me. In this talk the person gave an example of a man painting the floor of a room and he had the bright idea of starting from the door and then painted himself into a corner. A well know mistake for most of us. But his point was that when you are in this corner that you have painted youself into there is no window and no door and it seems like there is no way out of there, well there still is a way. But it will be a painfull and you will have to repair the damage. The solution is to walk over the floor, ruining some of the floor you have already painted and then fixing it again afterwards. It will hurt your pride, it will hurt the floor and it will demand some work.
How many of us would like to just paint ourselfs a window to escape out of when we have painted ourselfs into the corner? Why are we looking for the easy way out? Looking for the quick fix and running away from the difficult path of redemption. What happens if we do this?
In stead of going through the hard way, that might seem overwhelming we choose the easy way, because we think that we can escape our problems by not facing them. We think that if you don't have to face them we don't have to face the though and hard feelings that come with facing them. We thikn that if we run it won't catch up with us and we can continue living like nothing happened. But what are the consequenses of running?
We also let go of a wonderful opportunity of learning. We might leave someone hurt behind and do not heal their or our wounds. And you leave the past to haunt you. Like a bad consience that never will let you feel comfortable with yourself again.
What if you choose the hard way? What if you take the pain and face the hurt, problems and troubles that you have caused? Like diamonds and coal we need to be refined and it burs. But when you do this you say yes to the opportunity to learn from your mistakes. You are proving that you are not the proud one that declines help and refuses to see that, like everyone else I also have flaws. And that makes you kind, merciful and human. And you accept that each situation has something to teach you about life.
A part of the hard path is doing good what you did wrong. This will help you get closure. Either if it was towards yourself or towards others. You must forgive yourself or others, or apologize to yourself or others. And the ghost of your past will not haunt you. But leave you with a feeling of peace, calm and you will have become wiser.
So whenever you think about taking the easy way out, think about what the consequences of that choice is. Do you want hurt feelings and your conscious to haunt you. Or do you accept that every hard path is a way to learn and get closure in your life. Healing yourself and the people around you. Don't run, but face the opportunity in front of you. You problems do not go away simply if they are ignored. (Relient K)
- VforVegard
Saturday, October 2, 2010
I wish I could save you
Have you met people that have something that is pushing them down, holding them back or hindering them from living their lives to their full potential? It could be someone in the family, a friend, a boy or girlfriend, wife or husband or someone else close to you that has self-esteem issues, a bad habit, an addtiction or an attitude that makes life harder for them. And you know that if they would change thay would be happier, they would have more joy in life and be more pleased with themselves, and you just think "I wish I could save you".
Simple Plan - Save you
http://open.spotify.com/track/7mGk4gOciSMNc4W1S5W5dy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScfQDcFYUvQ&ob=av2e
(Watch the Youtube video, it's really good)
The lyrics from this song really states what I feel also when I face a person that I really want to help, but can't seem to be able to help. They say "You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you". And it really does, you do care and maybe even love the person that is hurting and it hurts you to see this person this way. You are trying to help them to bug, hurt or make this person unhappy. It's the totally opposite of course. You want this person to be happy. It's the process of change that hurts, and I'm sorry for that, but it's better that you go through hurt now so that you can be happy for the rest of your life.
Sometimes I feel so helpless facing these people and unmotivated because it seems like, as they say in the song, "And no matter what I do I can't make you feel better". And sometimes this is the case. Either you can't know what this other person is feeling and the sympathy that you are trying to express is no more than a feeling of "i'm sorry that you are hurting, but i've never been in this situation and I don't know how much you are hurting and I don't know how to get you out of this". And words are always more comforting when they come from a person that has had the same experience than from someone that doesn't have a clue.
And then you say that "I wish that I could tell you something, to take it all away". But there probably isn't. What could that be if i've never been there before? How could I help you? And then you think "If only I could find the answer, to take it all away".
But what can you do in this situation? My feelings are the same as in the lyrics
"I wont give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know
That if you fall, stumble down
I'll pick you up off the ground
If you lose faith in you
I'll give you strength to pull through
Tell me you won't give up cause I'll be waiting if you fall
Oh you know I'll be there for you"
If there is nothing I can do for you to feel better, at least I want you to know if there is something I can do for you, I will be there beside you, i will be ready to do what you want me to do, I will at least be there to catch you before you fall and pick you up through the strenght that I have in me. Because I do care and love you.
I just don't know how to, but I wish I could save you.
- VforVegard
Simple Plan - Save you
http://open.spotify.com/track/7mGk4gOciSMNc4W1S5W5dy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScfQDcFYUvQ&ob=av2e
(Watch the Youtube video, it's really good)
The lyrics from this song really states what I feel also when I face a person that I really want to help, but can't seem to be able to help. They say "You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you". And it really does, you do care and maybe even love the person that is hurting and it hurts you to see this person this way. You are trying to help them to bug, hurt or make this person unhappy. It's the totally opposite of course. You want this person to be happy. It's the process of change that hurts, and I'm sorry for that, but it's better that you go through hurt now so that you can be happy for the rest of your life.
Sometimes I feel so helpless facing these people and unmotivated because it seems like, as they say in the song, "And no matter what I do I can't make you feel better". And sometimes this is the case. Either you can't know what this other person is feeling and the sympathy that you are trying to express is no more than a feeling of "i'm sorry that you are hurting, but i've never been in this situation and I don't know how much you are hurting and I don't know how to get you out of this". And words are always more comforting when they come from a person that has had the same experience than from someone that doesn't have a clue.
And then you say that "I wish that I could tell you something, to take it all away". But there probably isn't. What could that be if i've never been there before? How could I help you? And then you think "If only I could find the answer, to take it all away".
But what can you do in this situation? My feelings are the same as in the lyrics
"I wont give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know
That if you fall, stumble down
I'll pick you up off the ground
If you lose faith in you
I'll give you strength to pull through
Tell me you won't give up cause I'll be waiting if you fall
Oh you know I'll be there for you"
If there is nothing I can do for you to feel better, at least I want you to know if there is something I can do for you, I will be there beside you, i will be ready to do what you want me to do, I will at least be there to catch you before you fall and pick you up through the strenght that I have in me. Because I do care and love you.
I just don't know how to, but I wish I could save you.
- VforVegard
Friday, October 1, 2010
It is a good life, risk your happiness
Yesterday I was walking home from the train station after school and I was listening to a song by OneRepublic, it's called "Good Life".
OneRepublic - Good life
http://open.spotify.com/track/2Iohf7kY7KNhHlK2JjI3g1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvypiDWsaF8&feature=related
Despite that there are downs in life and that we encounter difficulties. Life in general is good. After feeeling down, you will be uplifted, and after the rain the sun wil shine again and after the night the morning will come.
What makes life so great? In my life it is the people around me. My family and friends. Because in good times they are there to make me laugh and in bad times they are there to comfort me. So even in bad times, people make life good.
I also enjoy life because of what it gives to me personally. It gives me a opportunity to be myself, to be more and to develop, and if we take these opportunities and makes something with the time we have been given here, you will enjoy this life.
I'm wondering, what would life be if there were no downs? Would I be happy? Could I know the difference between happiness and sadness? Would I know how to laugh, to feel empathy for other, or to make other happy when they were down? Would relationships really mean anything if there weren't ups and downs? Would people matter if you really didn't make an impact at all? I need to feel sad to feel happy. That is my conclusion and sadness is actually one of the things that makes this life worth living, because then I know what happiness feels like.
And I was thinking who has responsibility for it to be a good life? My friends? Are they supposed to make life livable for me, my family? Are everyone in this world just existing to make me happy? No. I have to make my life good. I have to act and bring happiness into my life. I have to risk being sad, in order to become happy. And if you do not risk creating that happiness for yourself, then you will be sad.
Reach out to someone today, someone you have wanted to talk to or to do something for or to get to know better. A friend you haven't talked to in a while, a girl or boy you like, but have been to scared to talk to or a person you know needs some encouragement. Risk to be happy.
Life does go up and down, but mostly it is a good life, risk your happiness.
- VforVegard
OneRepublic - Good life
http://open.spotify.com/track/2Iohf7kY7KNhHlK2JjI3g1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvypiDWsaF8&feature=related
Despite that there are downs in life and that we encounter difficulties. Life in general is good. After feeeling down, you will be uplifted, and after the rain the sun wil shine again and after the night the morning will come.
What makes life so great? In my life it is the people around me. My family and friends. Because in good times they are there to make me laugh and in bad times they are there to comfort me. So even in bad times, people make life good.
I also enjoy life because of what it gives to me personally. It gives me a opportunity to be myself, to be more and to develop, and if we take these opportunities and makes something with the time we have been given here, you will enjoy this life.
I'm wondering, what would life be if there were no downs? Would I be happy? Could I know the difference between happiness and sadness? Would I know how to laugh, to feel empathy for other, or to make other happy when they were down? Would relationships really mean anything if there weren't ups and downs? Would people matter if you really didn't make an impact at all? I need to feel sad to feel happy. That is my conclusion and sadness is actually one of the things that makes this life worth living, because then I know what happiness feels like.
And I was thinking who has responsibility for it to be a good life? My friends? Are they supposed to make life livable for me, my family? Are everyone in this world just existing to make me happy? No. I have to make my life good. I have to act and bring happiness into my life. I have to risk being sad, in order to become happy. And if you do not risk creating that happiness for yourself, then you will be sad.
Reach out to someone today, someone you have wanted to talk to or to do something for or to get to know better. A friend you haven't talked to in a while, a girl or boy you like, but have been to scared to talk to or a person you know needs some encouragement. Risk to be happy.
Life does go up and down, but mostly it is a good life, risk your happiness.
- VforVegard
Thursday, September 30, 2010
If you believe me, you are gonna have to disbelieve yourself
Have you ever met a guy or a girl with a low self-esteem, and no matter what you tell them nothing can make then change their mind about themselves. This has frustrated me from time to time. I care for these people and it hurts me to see them hurt themselves and I want to help. This song from Relient K really makes my point clear.
Relient K - If you believe me
http://open.spotify.com/track/1xGVYkIqnzHXDNlr9kvWBv
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmQcg0GLLaU
The chorus in this song goes "if you believe me, you are gonna have to disbelieve yourself". And thats what I feel when I meet these people. Don't believe what you are telling yourself or what you mind is telling you. Disbelive that. And believe me when I say that you are AMAZING!
I think this could be a large part of helping yourself. Don't beat yourself up over failures, don't think that you have to be different, you don't have to be someone else, you don't have to do what everyone else is telling you. You are you and you are great. And there is noone like you. Disbelive all that you think that others need you to be and be comfortable with yourself.
If there is something you want to change and you feel that this is something you need and that you feel will be good for you, then do the work for it to change. If this is something you don't want, but others want of you, then don't do it. And remember that if there is something in your life that you cannot change, then stop thinking about it. There is nothing you can do about it. And you are amazing just the way you are.
Turn to the people that love you. They love you for a reason, and it's not because you suck! It's because you are amazing and you have something to offer to the world and us that noone else can.
You are you, and YOU are AMAZING, don't be me or anyone else.
- VforVegard
Relient K - If you believe me
http://open.spotify.com/track/1xGVYkIqnzHXDNlr9kvWBv
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmQcg0GLLaU
The chorus in this song goes "if you believe me, you are gonna have to disbelieve yourself". And thats what I feel when I meet these people. Don't believe what you are telling yourself or what you mind is telling you. Disbelive that. And believe me when I say that you are AMAZING!
I think this could be a large part of helping yourself. Don't beat yourself up over failures, don't think that you have to be different, you don't have to be someone else, you don't have to do what everyone else is telling you. You are you and you are great. And there is noone like you. Disbelive all that you think that others need you to be and be comfortable with yourself.
If there is something you want to change and you feel that this is something you need and that you feel will be good for you, then do the work for it to change. If this is something you don't want, but others want of you, then don't do it. And remember that if there is something in your life that you cannot change, then stop thinking about it. There is nothing you can do about it. And you are amazing just the way you are.
Turn to the people that love you. They love you for a reason, and it's not because you suck! It's because you are amazing and you have something to offer to the world and us that noone else can.
You are you, and YOU are AMAZING, don't be me or anyone else.
- VforVegard
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Do break-ups break even or is one hurting more?
When you break up with someone there are always two different stories, two different paths, two different hurts and two different ways of recovery. One thing is that it always hurts more for one person than for the other. One is breaking up and when is getting broken up with. I have myself this year experienced both of these. In the beginning of july I broke up with a girlfriend and in september now my girlfriend broke up with me. And there is a difference between the two.
One of my favorite songs describes this very good.
The Script - Breakeven
http://open.spotify.com/track/1fyysXwSGNtMeqMBLwW3SI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzCLLHscMOw&ob=av2n
It it is normally the case that for the one breaking up the hurt starts before the break-up, when he/she realizes that this relationship is not going to work and then it ends up in a positive feeling at the break-up, where the pain of breaking up and hurting someone turns into relieve for the person, because the hard part is over and the right decicion might have been made. I'm not saying that it's not difficult after the break-up, because you still feel bad for the person you broke up with, but you feel that you have made the right choice so it's mostly a positive feeling. These are the steps that I have been able to identify for the person breaking up.
1. feels insecure about the relationship
2. feels that it is not right anymore
3. feels that he/she should break up, feels bad about it
4. gathers the courage to break up
5. breaks up
6. moves on and is relieved, but feels sad for the other person
The one that has gotten broken up with might have caught on to the clues that have come over the time before the break-up, but this person usually still feels that the relationship is good and that he/she still loves or is in love with the other person. Often the break-up don't come as a shock, but still you hoped and believed that the time would never come. In my case this last time it did come as a shock though. But the break-up always feels like a shock no matter what and realizing that it is over and trying to forget the other person is hard. It hurts.
1. the shock with depression and hurt
2. realizing that it is over
3. trying to open his/her heart again
4. trying to let the person out of his/her heart
5. finding out that there are other people that can make me as happy as this one did
6. trusting him/herself to let other people in again after the hurt
So after a break-up there are always one that is hurting and one that feels relieved. This can turn into complications. Often the one that has the positive feeling, feels sad that it is over, but still wants to be friends with the person. While the other person that is hurting still feels that the only person that can make him/her happy is the person that just broke up with him/her and everytime he/her looks at that other person he/she feels the pain of not being able to be with that person anymore. How can you be friends with someone you want something more with?
So when a couple breaks up the pain meets in the middle. The person breaking up hurts till the break-up and the other person hurts after the break-up.
So the next time you break up with someone or are broken up with, think about what the other person is feeling. It might not help you feel better, but it will help you understand why the other person is acting as he/she is.
Some other good break-up songs that describe the process of breaking up are some of Relient Ks songs. These songs range from trying to break up, the hurt of falling, accepting it, getting over it and finally moving on. Enjoy!
"Let it all out" - http://open.spotify.com/track/735qAiZmNFtJY9LOPfuU7j, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0En7JZ0KQc
"if you want it" - http://open.spotify.com/track/1HQzR26k6EB6Y0OYXgY6Sf, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLGjwLfm9QU
"When I go down" - http://open.spotify.com/track/0UnmayheSTYN52BlZij5Qc, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDskMF54vnw
"Hope for every fallen man" - http://open.spotify.com/track/4M8f6yF9AYia4tTOxyVWGf, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIaQmrIt3l0
"Over it" - http://open.spotify.com/track/1PVHCzypfSLf1CpSEYdFN1, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11R2qfBAv0I
"There was another time in my life" - http://open.spotify.com/track/42F8x80IQqXvp9XWEpAB7x, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIGbPTC7ITg
- VforVegard
One of my favorite songs describes this very good.
The Script - Breakeven
http://open.spotify.com/track/1fyysXwSGNtMeqMBLwW3SI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzCLLHscMOw&ob=av2n
It it is normally the case that for the one breaking up the hurt starts before the break-up, when he/she realizes that this relationship is not going to work and then it ends up in a positive feeling at the break-up, where the pain of breaking up and hurting someone turns into relieve for the person, because the hard part is over and the right decicion might have been made. I'm not saying that it's not difficult after the break-up, because you still feel bad for the person you broke up with, but you feel that you have made the right choice so it's mostly a positive feeling. These are the steps that I have been able to identify for the person breaking up.
1. feels insecure about the relationship
2. feels that it is not right anymore
3. feels that he/she should break up, feels bad about it
4. gathers the courage to break up
5. breaks up
6. moves on and is relieved, but feels sad for the other person
The one that has gotten broken up with might have caught on to the clues that have come over the time before the break-up, but this person usually still feels that the relationship is good and that he/she still loves or is in love with the other person. Often the break-up don't come as a shock, but still you hoped and believed that the time would never come. In my case this last time it did come as a shock though. But the break-up always feels like a shock no matter what and realizing that it is over and trying to forget the other person is hard. It hurts.
1. the shock with depression and hurt
2. realizing that it is over
3. trying to open his/her heart again
4. trying to let the person out of his/her heart
5. finding out that there are other people that can make me as happy as this one did
6. trusting him/herself to let other people in again after the hurt
So after a break-up there are always one that is hurting and one that feels relieved. This can turn into complications. Often the one that has the positive feeling, feels sad that it is over, but still wants to be friends with the person. While the other person that is hurting still feels that the only person that can make him/her happy is the person that just broke up with him/her and everytime he/her looks at that other person he/she feels the pain of not being able to be with that person anymore. How can you be friends with someone you want something more with?
So when a couple breaks up the pain meets in the middle. The person breaking up hurts till the break-up and the other person hurts after the break-up.
So the next time you break up with someone or are broken up with, think about what the other person is feeling. It might not help you feel better, but it will help you understand why the other person is acting as he/she is.
Some other good break-up songs that describe the process of breaking up are some of Relient Ks songs. These songs range from trying to break up, the hurt of falling, accepting it, getting over it and finally moving on. Enjoy!
"Let it all out" - http://open.spotify.com/track/735qAiZmNFtJY9LOPfuU7j, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0En7JZ0KQc
"if you want it" - http://open.spotify.com/track/1HQzR26k6EB6Y0OYXgY6Sf, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLGjwLfm9QU
"When I go down" - http://open.spotify.com/track/0UnmayheSTYN52BlZij5Qc, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDskMF54vnw
"Hope for every fallen man" - http://open.spotify.com/track/4M8f6yF9AYia4tTOxyVWGf, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIaQmrIt3l0
"Over it" - http://open.spotify.com/track/1PVHCzypfSLf1CpSEYdFN1, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11R2qfBAv0I
"There was another time in my life" - http://open.spotify.com/track/42F8x80IQqXvp9XWEpAB7x, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIGbPTC7ITg
- VforVegard
Monday, September 27, 2010
Am I a DINOSAUR or can I still get married?
Yesterday I was at an activity in my church and in my church it is common to get married at an early age, and if you are not married by 25 people think that you are dead meat. I don't know if you have heard Ke$sa with dinosaur, but that's what she ment that I was. I'm 26. But I kinda feel that this is an important issue to adress. When do you think that a person should get married? What is an appropriate age to get married?
Ke$sa - Dinosaur
http://open.spotify.com/track/2svYQcWrmjzZOmoS16VfdQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMGQUXgreuk&feature=related
I found this statistics on the internet "AGE AT MARRIAGE. Latter-day Saints also tend to marry early. Forty-five percent of LDS women and 23 percent of LDS men have married by age nineteen. By age twenty-one 74 percent of LDS women and 49 percent of LDS men have married. This is considerably higher than for any other religious group." (http://www.lightplanet.com/mormons/daily/social_eom.htm)
Is this good or bad? I don't really know. 18 percent has been divorced according to the same survey. Which is not a high number. So I guess most are happily married.
But is 19, 21 or 37 the right age for getting married? I think it doesn't depend on age at all. It depends on the person you are and the person you are looking for. I have in my life identified some steps that I have felt that I needed to go through in order to get to the point where I actually feel ready to get married.
1. Find myself
2. Know what I want in another person
3. Know what I want with my life
4. Maturity
5. Timing
To be able to have a stable relationship you need to know yourself and be comfertable with who you are. You need to know what goals you have in life. What kind of situations you want to find yourself in, in a few years from now.
In order to find the right person you need to know who is compatible with you, what are you looking for in a person? Who has a personality that matches and complements your own. Don't think of it as a business proposal with skills you need to match. But your personality.
What are my goals in life, and will this person help me closer or farther away from these goals.If my goal is to have a successful career, then you need a wife that supports you in that and that feels that this is important. If you want kids, then you need a wife that wants kids. It's actually rather simple.
You need to be mature. Am I ready for this step? Am I responsible? Am I self-sufficient? Can I make it on my own? Am I ready to take care of kids? Can i support a family? There are many more questions that needs to be anwered also.
The last part is the magic. Once you have figured all of the above out. You just have to find the right girl, in the right place, at the right time. Sounds easy doesn't it? And you need to love her in this time and place and she needs to love you.
This are all of the questions that goes through my head when I think of this question. But is all of this really required? Do we have to worry so much? Love has an amazing power. We change for people we love, we adapt for people we love and we help the people we love. So I say. Don't be so worried. If you love them, then things will work out. But these other concerns does make it easier.
Either you feel ready at 19 or at 37? Why worry? The most important thing is to find someone that loves you for you and a person that you love for who this person is either it's at a young age or be you older. Don't settle for less.
So maybe this song by Ke$sa would be more approprite for this blogpost.
Ke$sa - Your love is my drug
http://open.spotify.com/track/3uoQULcUWfnt6nc6J7Vgai
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjY7bwxfvvk
- VforVegard
Ke$sa - Dinosaur
http://open.spotify.com/track/2svYQcWrmjzZOmoS16VfdQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMGQUXgreuk&feature=related
I found this statistics on the internet "AGE AT MARRIAGE. Latter-day Saints also tend to marry early. Forty-five percent of LDS women and 23 percent of LDS men have married by age nineteen. By age twenty-one 74 percent of LDS women and 49 percent of LDS men have married. This is considerably higher than for any other religious group." (http://www.lightplanet.com/mormons/daily/social_eom.htm)
Is this good or bad? I don't really know. 18 percent has been divorced according to the same survey. Which is not a high number. So I guess most are happily married.
But is 19, 21 or 37 the right age for getting married? I think it doesn't depend on age at all. It depends on the person you are and the person you are looking for. I have in my life identified some steps that I have felt that I needed to go through in order to get to the point where I actually feel ready to get married.
1. Find myself
2. Know what I want in another person
3. Know what I want with my life
4. Maturity
5. Timing
To be able to have a stable relationship you need to know yourself and be comfertable with who you are. You need to know what goals you have in life. What kind of situations you want to find yourself in, in a few years from now.
In order to find the right person you need to know who is compatible with you, what are you looking for in a person? Who has a personality that matches and complements your own. Don't think of it as a business proposal with skills you need to match. But your personality.
What are my goals in life, and will this person help me closer or farther away from these goals.If my goal is to have a successful career, then you need a wife that supports you in that and that feels that this is important. If you want kids, then you need a wife that wants kids. It's actually rather simple.
You need to be mature. Am I ready for this step? Am I responsible? Am I self-sufficient? Can I make it on my own? Am I ready to take care of kids? Can i support a family? There are many more questions that needs to be anwered also.
The last part is the magic. Once you have figured all of the above out. You just have to find the right girl, in the right place, at the right time. Sounds easy doesn't it? And you need to love her in this time and place and she needs to love you.
This are all of the questions that goes through my head when I think of this question. But is all of this really required? Do we have to worry so much? Love has an amazing power. We change for people we love, we adapt for people we love and we help the people we love. So I say. Don't be so worried. If you love them, then things will work out. But these other concerns does make it easier.
Either you feel ready at 19 or at 37? Why worry? The most important thing is to find someone that loves you for you and a person that you love for who this person is either it's at a young age or be you older. Don't settle for less.
So maybe this song by Ke$sa would be more approprite for this blogpost.
Ke$sa - Your love is my drug
http://open.spotify.com/track/3uoQULcUWfnt6nc6J7Vgai
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjY7bwxfvvk
- VforVegard
Thursday, September 23, 2010
The beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair
"The beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair". This sentence is taken from a song that I posted on my Blog on tuedsday. Relient K - "Be my escape". I was for some random reason singing this song in my car on my way home today, and started pondering this sentence.
Relient K - Be my escape
Original
http://open.spotify.com/track/6IF5ICCqX9Dzote5VVSrjW
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3z1YE9aMmVk&ob=av2n
Acoustic
http://open.spotify.com/track/6IF5ICCqX9Dzote5VVSrjW
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyZXFY2CYOE
Grace is defined in a dictionary as the free and unmerited assistance or favour or energy or saving presence of God in his dealings with humanity. Grace is a gift of God and is not considered to be deserved by the individual. It is also defined as the exercise of love, kindness, mercy, favor; disposition to benefit or serve another; favor bestowed or privilege conferred. (http://www.encyclo.co.uk/define/Grace)
So grace is a free gift, often of mercy or forgiveness, which is not deserved by the person recieving it. And I was pondering, does it make life not fair?
Grace is actually not fair is it? The fair thing would be to be punished for what you have done wrong. If you drive to fast, then justice would claim that you should get a speeding ticket. So what is grace. It is an act of love, an act that defies justice, that renders it wrong.
If you have done something wrong to a person and that person forgives you, then what you have done has been claimed not to be wrong of the person you offended and the sting and hurt of the action has been eliminated.
Do you deserve this? Probably not. But is it your decicion? No it's not. But what will you be happy for this gift? Absolutely. Does this feel fair for the person that offended someone? Probably not. But the offended person gets closure and feels relieved. So who will benefit the most from this. Probably the offended person. But even the offender can get relief, but only if he regrets and accept the gift from the offended with open arms.
Grace is a possibility to do something more than what is fair, something that is more than what someone deserves, its to give someone an exeptional divine gift. So i will give you the challenge at the end of this blogpost. Give that gift to someone in the next week. The beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair, it makes it so much better than just fair.
- VforVegard
Relient K - Be my escape
Original
http://open.spotify.com/track/6IF5ICCqX9Dzote5VVSrjW
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3z1YE9aMmVk&ob=av2n
Acoustic
http://open.spotify.com/track/6IF5ICCqX9Dzote5VVSrjW
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyZXFY2CYOE
Grace is defined in a dictionary as the free and unmerited assistance or favour or energy or saving presence of God in his dealings with humanity. Grace is a gift of God and is not considered to be deserved by the individual. It is also defined as the exercise of love, kindness, mercy, favor; disposition to benefit or serve another; favor bestowed or privilege conferred. (http://www.encyclo.co.uk/define/Grace)
So grace is a free gift, often of mercy or forgiveness, which is not deserved by the person recieving it. And I was pondering, does it make life not fair?
Grace is actually not fair is it? The fair thing would be to be punished for what you have done wrong. If you drive to fast, then justice would claim that you should get a speeding ticket. So what is grace. It is an act of love, an act that defies justice, that renders it wrong.
If you have done something wrong to a person and that person forgives you, then what you have done has been claimed not to be wrong of the person you offended and the sting and hurt of the action has been eliminated.
Do you deserve this? Probably not. But is it your decicion? No it's not. But what will you be happy for this gift? Absolutely. Does this feel fair for the person that offended someone? Probably not. But the offended person gets closure and feels relieved. So who will benefit the most from this. Probably the offended person. But even the offender can get relief, but only if he regrets and accept the gift from the offended with open arms.
Grace is a possibility to do something more than what is fair, something that is more than what someone deserves, its to give someone an exeptional divine gift. So i will give you the challenge at the end of this blogpost. Give that gift to someone in the next week. The beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair, it makes it so much better than just fair.
- VforVegard
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Misery loves its company or Believe?
Have you ever thought about the fact that you can choose the way you look at a situation yourself. You actually have a choice. You can either paint it all black or you can see the light in all of the blackness.
I had this thought the other day listening to two different songs from the same band, The red Jumpsuit Apparatus.
First song is Red jumpsuit apparatus - "Misery loves its company"
http://open.spotify.com/track/0I7Pw74Rp2kCxF0l2EB7Bd
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kwu2HvXRAGk
And the other one is called "Believe" - Red jumpsuit apparatus
http://open.spotify.com/track/6GYKikXlrYXnteBLBBesuP
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fxcfJYhBII
The first song has text in it like "we are destined to fail", "save this hate i can't release", "when I dream I see dawn turn into dusk" and maybe the most interesting text is the title "Misery loves its company". Have you noticed that when you are filled with this misery that everything else turns miserable?
I've noticed that when I'm down nothing is fun anymore, last week I didn't even watch Manchester United vs. Liverpool, one of the greates games in football, and for people that know we really well knows that thats not something I would usually do. But the mood that you have decided to have, impacts what you want to do, what you do. So basically your ambitions and desires. I've also noticed that going to school is so much harder, that doing what I'm supposed to in my callings in church is hard to do. You just loose yourself.
But what if you see the light instead? If you believe that there is more good than bad like it says in the song? Hope, faith, patience and love are strong words and feelings. They encourage good. Things will still get rough, sad, hard and it will hurt. But do you think you would get better faster? Misery loves its company and it will just pile up a big black wall. But if you believe in a brighter future the light will eventually clear out the blackness and shine as bright as the sun. And your life will be up and running again.
I know it sounds like a clishee, and it is. But it works. The hard part of every good advice is to apply it in your life. It always sounds so simple, but it is truly hard to make it a part of your life. Be positive and believe that you will overcome. Choose your own attitude, and remember that misery loves its company.
- VforVegard
I had this thought the other day listening to two different songs from the same band, The red Jumpsuit Apparatus.
First song is Red jumpsuit apparatus - "Misery loves its company"
http://open.spotify.com/track/0I7Pw74Rp2kCxF0l2EB7Bd
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kwu2HvXRAGk
And the other one is called "Believe" - Red jumpsuit apparatus
http://open.spotify.com/track/6GYKikXlrYXnteBLBBesuP
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fxcfJYhBII
The first song has text in it like "we are destined to fail", "save this hate i can't release", "when I dream I see dawn turn into dusk" and maybe the most interesting text is the title "Misery loves its company". Have you noticed that when you are filled with this misery that everything else turns miserable?
I've noticed that when I'm down nothing is fun anymore, last week I didn't even watch Manchester United vs. Liverpool, one of the greates games in football, and for people that know we really well knows that thats not something I would usually do. But the mood that you have decided to have, impacts what you want to do, what you do. So basically your ambitions and desires. I've also noticed that going to school is so much harder, that doing what I'm supposed to in my callings in church is hard to do. You just loose yourself.
But what if you see the light instead? If you believe that there is more good than bad like it says in the song? Hope, faith, patience and love are strong words and feelings. They encourage good. Things will still get rough, sad, hard and it will hurt. But do you think you would get better faster? Misery loves its company and it will just pile up a big black wall. But if you believe in a brighter future the light will eventually clear out the blackness and shine as bright as the sun. And your life will be up and running again.
I know it sounds like a clishee, and it is. But it works. The hard part of every good advice is to apply it in your life. It always sounds so simple, but it is truly hard to make it a part of your life. Be positive and believe that you will overcome. Choose your own attitude, and remember that misery loves its company.
- VforVegard
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